Karaoke Anyone?

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I love karaoke. I truly love it. There's a lot to be said for having the cojones to get up on stage before a crowd of strangers and belt your heart out. You really do have to have miles of courage and chutzpa to open yourself so unabashedly to potential criticism and ridicule. But when it comes to performing karaoke, I totally do. Any time. Any place.

A lot of people claim they need to down a few rounds of liquid courage before they can get up the nerve to do karaoke. Not me. All I need is an extensive song list to choose from, and I'm ready to rock. When I get on stage, yelling and screaming into the mic as loud as I want, I feel like a rock star living out my rock 'n' roll fantasy. And I've noticed that the more I'm into it, the more responsive and receptive the crowd is, singing and clapping and coming along with me for the ride.

I should mention for the record that I have absolutely no illusions about my talent: I can't carry a tune to save my life. I can't hold a note. And I certainly can't harmonize. Quite honestly, I don't even have a desire to learn to sing "the right way." I know I'm not musically gifted—never have been and never will be. But that clear-eyed view of my vocal limitations is exactly what makes karaoke so much fun for me. American Idol judge Randy Jackson would most certainly characterize my vocals as pitchy (at best!), but such comments wouldn't bother me. I have absolutely no aspirations to be the next American Idol. I just karaoke for fun.

Of the many songs that I love to perform, my favorites are those by 1980s "hair band" rockers. It simply doesn't get any better than belting out classic songs from Mötley Crüe, Bon Jovi, Aerosmith, Whitesnake, Warrant and, of course, Guns N' Roses. "Welcome to the Jungle" is my all-time favorite karaoke tune; in fact, it's the best hair band/hard rock song ever made. It's not a neat and pretty song. No, it's grimy and gritty and loud. In a word, it's simply intoxicating...which is exactly what a great rock song should be.

So whenever I take the stage to sing my version of "Welcome to the Jungle," I feel compelled to do it justice each and every time. For four minutes and 31 seconds, it's my job to sing with all the passion that my 5'2" frame can muster to make that song come alive for the audience as if it's their first time hearing it. Now by no means am I as electrifying Axl Rose, but I certainly do try my best to bring a bit of Axl's flavor and flair to my performance. After all, Axl Rose may be considered many things, but boring is definitely not one of them.

Recently, some friends and I vacationed in Toronto, Ontario, and as luck would have it late one night, we stumbled upon an outdoor karaoke bar. Of course I couldn't pass it up. I had to go solo, though, because my buddies declined to join me on stage; they're not the karaoking kind. Still, I love them anyway and they loved me right back that night by cheering me on as I sang. Everyone had a fantastic time; my friends, the crowd and me. And in the end, isn't that what karaoke's about? Good times for everyone. Whether you're rockin' the stage yourself or sitting in the audience sipping a Heineken, you should never, ever be bored during karaoke. If you are, then someone isn't doing their job. | Retannical D. Russell